Loss or Gain
When I recall the last 18 years of living with MS, I can remember those first few baffling symptoms that plagued me, wondering if I was losing my mind or if an event truly occurred. Early on, symptoms of MS can come and go. I had tingling in my fingers when bending my head forward. So naturally I went to a chiropractor assuming that I had a pinched nerve. After several months that symptom disappeared leading me to think that I was cured. Soon after, I experienced heaviness and numbness in my right foot, something that a chiropractor could not repair. I could still walk but drop foot gave me a noticeable limp.
At this point I was tested for everything that was not MS, until the results were finalized. As the years went by my body continued to deteriorate. Walking became more difficult, falls became the norm, my writing was that of a doctor’s, bladder issues plagued me, constant testing for one thing or another and a multitude of drugs for MS and drug side effects became my way of life.
Despite all of the physical functions that were stolen from me, I can still be thankful for the new life I have because of MS. It has helped me prioritize what is important to me and those around me. I have more time to do the things that I really care about. My friends list may be smaller but the ones I do have love me regardless of my disabilities. MS has made me slow down and appreciate all the good things in my life.
Whether a difficult day or a rare good day, I am truly blessed.