As I listen to this song by Francesca Battiselli (If We’re Honest), I think about all the different meanings that honesty can convey.

For me it is not only telling the truth to others but also to myself. Denial can creep into my mind without me even being aware that I am letting it in. 

Although I haven’t been able to walk for more than twelve years it is the little things that I struggle with the most. My right hand has always been more spastic than my left making it difficult to pick up anything, yet I still try over and over again, usually dropping whatever it is. I tend to put things down on the edge hoping it will be easier to grab but it always backfires. I continually try to put in earrings, with a 50% failure rate. All my attempts at normality cause unnecessary stress for me and my caregiver. My fear is that if I stop trying I will admit failure, something my personality will not allow me to do.

Honesty and denial will be my forever companions.