I see and use the word chronic over and over to explain what Multiple Sclerosis does to the body and how to live my best life despite it.

When I looked up the meaning of it I found: (continuing or occurring again and again for a long time). Only difference with MS is that I would add to the meaning with (forever and ever). 

For me the relapses that occurred went away temporarily. The brain finds a different path until there is nowhere else to go, at that time the damage becomes permanent.

For instance: the first time I experienced nerve pain, it would last only a few minutes. Eventually it became increasing in duration and intensity, until now when it never truly goes away. I have tried all of the oral options with no relief or side effects that made everything else much worse.

So at this point I made an appointment with a spine and pain specialist. She gave me the options available and we decided to try a pudendal nerve block for the worst of it. Once every 10 weeks I go to the clinic for this short procedure. My pain will never dissipate completely but this is how I deal with the most painful.

Trying to explain all of this to anyone unfamiliar with MS can be exhausting and a little too personal, but it is ok because not everyone needs to know everything.

So these days I just smile and say “fine” when asked how I am feeling today.