Some call it the claw, others call it a fist. Either can be a description of faulty hand dexterity. 

The first time I felt it was in the hospital receiving steroids for a pretty significant relapse during Thanksgiving week. Sitting on the hospital bed, I couldn’t keep my right hand open. It went away as quickly as it had appeared. My head told me it would be back with a vengeance.

It usually appears as both strength and weakness when I am consciously trying to use it to pick something up, hold something or putting something down. Very precarious when I am holding a coffee cup or any other hot liquid. Then trying to let go of it.

I don’t pay much attention to it until I notice the clenching in a photograph or eating around others as I try to keep silverware from slipping onto the floor. I am very self conscious of it in church when a handshake is coming my way as I stretch my hand and fingers to accommodate during the Our Father and peace sign.

I could take Baclofen during the day, although I would most likely be a zombie (not a doable option). Strengthening my hand by using therapy putty can reduce some but when in a fatigue episode nothing really works.

I have learned to do several actions with my left hand, but for the most part my brain knows that I am right handed and it will never forget it.

So if I come at you with a fist during a greeting, know that it is not rude just unavoidable.